If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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