'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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