So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
