I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
