is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
