Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
