i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
