so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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