I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
