You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
