He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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