My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
