question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
