was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
