My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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