Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
