Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
