Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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