Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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