i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
