I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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