I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm at about main and main street
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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