when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
