i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
