If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
