you traded sex for a burrito?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
