I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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