Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I AM VODKA MAN
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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