Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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