The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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