i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
