i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
