The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
