he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Randomize
