waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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