is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
