I am spending my child support on dildos
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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