i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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