im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
