Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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