either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
