I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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