Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
