why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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