im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
