so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
