I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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