Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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