We're like a lot better than the average bears
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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