I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
