my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
